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What’s
a good way to ask for a date without directly asking for a date?
Max:
Diversity reduces risk. Invite this girl to a group function so
she will not feel the pressure of being on a one-on-one date with
you. Do this a couple of times and you will know if she wants
to spend more time alone, or with your friends.
Maxine: Great minds think alike! Find out what this girl’s
interests are, and set up the group function. Don’t be too
timid about getting to know her better and/or taking the risk
in finally asking her out on a one-on-one date. You have a window
of opportunity in which you will need to act upon, before she
categorizes you as a “friend”. There’s nothing
harder to get out of then the “friend” category when
it comes to a woman you are interested in. After the first two
group outings, you should be able to find out if she would be
interested in spending time with you one-on-one. Take the risk,
it will be worth it.
I
really dislike it when a guy asks how old I am on the first date!
How should I answer such a question? Why do guys even ask that question?
I mean, I think it’s inappropriate, would they like it if I
asked, “How big is your member”?
Maxine: Why are you afraid to answer such a question? You
should feel comfortable enough with yourself to just tell the truth.
Honesty is always the best policy. If ‘these’ guys don’t
respond to your liking, then they’re probably not worth your
time!
I believe men start to ask the ‘age’ question when they
know, this day in age, women can defy the aging process by as much
as 5 years! I have come to believe men have a stigma when it comes
to dating older women. They’re worried about women having children
too late. It will take an open-minded person to respond to you in
the right way and to also admire you for you, and not your age.
It’s worth the search to find that special someone, then to
have to lie about your age, which will only start off this so-called
relationship on a bad foot, or in this case, on a lie.
However, I do think it’s inappropriate to ask how large their
member is on a first date. I would suggest waiting until at least
the 4th date, when all the air is cleared and there’s a strong
sense of physical attraction and flirting.
Max: Maxine is right; this is not an inappropriate question.
Age is only an index number, not a reflection of you as a person.
I suspect your insecurity is a direct result of your perception
that most men want younger girls. If the guy really likes you, he
won’t care about the age factor. Slightly off the topic - Maxine,
a woman should never ask how large the guy’s family jewel is.
The woman should just compliment him on his endowment regardless.
How
do I tell my boyfriend that he should exercise more? He’s starting
to get soft and lazy.
Maxine: Have you suggested/planned on going on weekend hikes,
or evening walks together? What physical activities does your boyfriend
enjoy? If you have suggested doing these physical activities but
have not been successful in getting him to perform them, then I
would suggest changing your eating habits. Avoid eating out, and
cooking more often. I’d advise easing into this dietary change
slowly. Soon, he will see results and have become accustomed to
eating a certain way and will probably be more motivated and have
energy to start doing more exercise as a means for health and staying
in shape.
Max:
No way! This indirect approach won’t work. First of all,
his laziness will transform into something bigger so you may want
to re-think about your relationship. Now, guys just don’t
get it. You have to tell your boyfriend he’s becoming a slob
and if he doesn’t want you to leave for a more physically
fit guy, he better shape up. You have to put fear or reward him
to exercise more. For example, while you’re watching sports
with him, tell him how much top physical conditioned athletes
rub your engine. Alternative, explain to him that the sudden stop
in intimacy is the effect of him looking like the Fat Bastard.
My
boyfriend and I are both very busy at work during the weekdays.
So the only time we have for each other is on the weekends. However,
he spends almost the entire day on Saturday playing golf. I can’t
help but feel that he’s not really interested in spending time
in getting to know me. We’ve been only dating for three months.
Unfortunately, I really dislike golf. What should I do?
Maxine: It’s only 3 months into the relationship and
if he doesn’t make you a priority now, when will he? Try voicing
your concerns to him. Is there any way he can play golf during the
week, or play every other weekend? If your boyfriend is considerate;
he will make the time for you, or find a compromise that you both
can agree upon. Otherwise, if he is not willing to do anything about
the situation, you will need to decide on whether or not you can
accept his golfing habits or get out of the relationship altogether.
Max: If your boyfriend is an aspiring PGA golfer, then I
don’t think you should burst his ambition. If you’re only
3 months into the relationship, I would be hesitant to give him
an ultimatum like Maxine implied. You don’t have to play golf
to be with him. Have you ever thought about driving the golf cart
for him while getting some sun and sipping Miller Lite? Or bring
your girlfriend out to chill; it’s quite relaxing to be on
the golf course with the serene environment and nature. Bottom line,
I would not dump someone for his interest. Imagine if your boyfriend
dumped because you have a regular Sat. morning manicure/facial/massage
appointment, how absurd would that be?
Have
a question? Write to Maxine@baare.org
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